About my daughter

Regarding the daughter

“I love her, but I don’t understand her.
Why does my daughter choose such a difficult life?
Why does she willingly place herself in a position of being hated and ostracized?”
★About the daughter, and about my mother – about the endless battle for understanding between mothers and daughters, and between people, and also about “all kinds of” us
The mother’s expectations concern “normalcy,” while the daughter’s expectations concern “freedom”; mothers often view their daughters as extensions of their own lives, but daughters no longer want to live like their mothers…
—“How did the child born of my own flesh and blood become the furthest person from me, someone I cannot understand?”
—“Can’t Mom just accept me for who I am? Didn’t you say there are all kinds of people in the world? Didn’t you say being different isn’t necessarily a bad thing? Didn’t you say all of that, Mom? Why do those words become an exception when it comes to me!”
The monologue of an ordinary mother awakens the shared fear and lingering hope for understanding that we, as daughters, have experienced; the rebellious daughter’s questions challenge all labels and prejudices, and also question society’s pervasive narrative of misogyny.
Dedicated to all "bad daughters" and the good mothers who struggle to understand them.
★The most anticipated East Asian women’s writing since "Kim Ji-young, Born 1982," winner of the Shin Dong-yup Literary Award, highly recommended by Korea's four major mainstream media outlets!
Following "Kim Ji-young," it once again sparked a new wave of reading and discussion in Korean women's literature.
YES24, one of Korea's top three online bookstores, selected it as "Literary Writer's Choice for Book of the Year" and "Annual Bestseller in Literature"; Kyobo Bookstore, Korea's largest bookstore chain, named the author "Recommended Author of the Year."
★"Even setting aside stories about women, such works attract readers because of their powerful narrative on marginalized groups in society, such as sexual minorities and lonely elderly people."
—Park Hye-jin, Editor of the Korean editions of "Kim Ji-young, Born 1982" and "About My Daughter"
From gender issues to workplace issues, from abandoned elderly people to exploited low-wage workers, it exposes an East Asian society dominated by capital and prejudice from the perspective of ordinary individuals, and the reality we all inhabit.
Men who went to a distant oil-producing country to earn money 30 years ago; women who, after retirement, can only earn a living by cleaning up human waste in nursing homes; real estate investments where the wind and rain can enter, but loan repayments cannot stop; dispatched lecturers who are fired just before their permanent employment date…
With men absent, three generations of women face aging, illness, and loneliness in their own ways, tearing apart the false warmth of traditional East Asian families and realizing female mutual aid that transcends blood ties. Family cannot save loneliness; only love and understanding can.
★A burning self-portrait of a mother, an elegy for a patriarchal family, a history of cross-generational female mutual love and acceptance.
A brave daughter who fought for the rights of an unfairly treated colleague received no affirmation; an independent woman who dedicated her youth to the cause of international refugee children became a discarded item of society in her old age.
No matter which generation they belong to, women still suffer from prejudice, old customs, and the hardships brought by "normalcy" and "completeness." But the women in this book all possess the courage to face danger and the resilience to bear the consequences of their choices.
★Perhaps for the first time in East Asian literature, the story of a "sexual minority" daughter is written from the perspective of a lonely mother;
Breaking through the labels of "queer" and "feminist," a masterpiece that challenges tradition and boundaries!
★The mother’s palm is also the daughter’s body, from inside out, all breathing female flesh and blood.
—Rising illustrator × renowned designer, meticulously crafted, presented with passion.
The overall visual design of "About My Daughter" was handled by renowned designer Xi He, using the works of rising illustrator Mu Chui. With textured brushstrokes and a quiet yet powerful color palette, the mother's palm is also the daughter's body, from inside out, all breathing female flesh and blood.
【Synopsis】
“I love her, but I don’t understand her.
Why does my daughter choose such a difficult life?
Why does she willingly place herself in a position of being hated and ostracized?”
As a mother, "I" have lived my whole life for my daughter, harboring many expectations for her. Yet, my daughter believes her mother never truly listens to her, and even brings home a female partner, forcing her mother to accept their future, which deviates from "normalcy."
At the same time, the mother witnesses Ms. Jin, a patient she cares for at the nursing home, become a burden discarded by the institution and society due to dementia. In Ms. Jin, the mother seems to see herself, moving from loneliness to death in old age, and also sees her daughter's future, which could similarly face such a tragedy…
Amid misunderstandings and ruptures, and repeated attempts at dialogue and reconciliation, mother and daughter are simultaneously propelled by internal and external forces, moving forward and gradually drawing closer to each other…
【Media Recommendations】
From the perspective of sexual minority women, one can more clearly see a society dominated by prejudice.
—"The Dong-A Ilbo"
This book describes women exposed to hatred, rejection, and violence, while also focusing on understanding and growth. The mother in the book persistently strives to understand, not hoping for someone to understand her, but hoping to be able to understand others.
—"Maeil Business Newspaper"
This book sharply exposes the violent mechanisms established by Korean society against already vulnerable minority groups. By documenting and portraying the process by which a "queer" mother achieves "optimal understanding," we can see more possibilities for achieving understanding between people.
—"The Korea Daily"
Everyone can be each other's past, present, or future mother, because "unrelated outsiders" don't actually exist. Perhaps with this power, we can eventually take that step towards "a miraculous understanding."
—Kim Shin-hyun Kyung (Postdoctoral Researcher, East Asian Institute, Freie Universität Berlin)
While people are busy debating "queer" and feminism, this book has transcended "concepts" and "boundaries" to become a masterpiece.
—Kang Young-sook (Korean writer)
The protagonists in the novel are not "mainstream" mothers depicted with unconditional love and sacrifice, nor does the daughter express overflowing understanding and comfort towards her mother. Beneath their identities as mother and daughter, they are simply ordinary people, with their own worries and lives.
—Moon Yoon-gang (Korean writer)
An ordinary life may inherently be difficult, yet the difficulty lies not in life itself, but in examining the standard of "who defines normalcy." This book not only showcases the prejudices suffered by vulnerable groups but also the reality we all inhabit at this very moment.
—"Geumgang Ilbo"

2022-10-01

广西师范大学出版社

One-page folio

224

9787559851987